When given a task to do or you are faced with a challenge of any kind, what are the first words out of your mouth? If you are like most people, the words "I can't", " I do not know how", "I am unable to" etc. are rolling off your tongue without a thought. Those words roll out of your mouth automatically. There are others however who think about the words that come to mind first, and then decide whether they should let them out. What is the difference? It is being strategic with your words. Think of your words as a loaded gun or a tool. When faced with a challenge your reaction might be to take that loaded gun and start shooting. The result of shooting a loaded gun randomly without any thought causes more damage and will more than likely not do a thing to help your situation. On the other hand, think of your words as a tool in the hands of a skilled craftsman. Do you get the picture? Using your words as a tool is being strategic with your words. Though thoughts of inability might come to mind, you choose what words come out, instead of just letting them come out automatically.
Communicating with men is usually more complicated than communicating with your women friends. You want him to tell you he loves you; you want him to talk to you when he's angry, not storm out of the room or sit silently. You know something is bothering him but he won't tell you. You devote a lot of energy to figuring out the best way to say something that won't upset him more. You try different ways to approach a subject so he'll respond to you or meet your needs. You may have even tried giving him the words you need to hear, like, "When we're arguing and I start yelling, you can tell me to lower my voice so you could hear me better." But, whatever you have offered, nothing seems to work. You know the old saying, "You can bring a horse to water, but you can't make it drink." You can try to enhance his skills and options for having better discussions with you, but how do you know when enough is enough? If he's not working with you, than the only thing you can do is fix yourself.
A good friend of mine thinks she flirts too much. I said no. One day she was waiting for her takeout food at some restaurant and noticed the chef looking at her. As a response she smiled. He then asked how she was doing. She was back in there a few days later picking up an order, and he came up to her and asked her what she did (for a living) and then proceeded to introduce himself, and so on. This is the third or fourth time he has tried to approach her all the while she is wearing her wedding band and making it apparent at that! Another instance she was waiting in line for the ladies room and there was line for the mens room as well. She commented to the one of the men waiting, "That's not something you see every day, guys waiting! " Next thing she knew, he got out of line and asked her if she had a boyfriend. Once she was followed to her parking lot by a guy loading her car, a tv I think it was, but regardless he went on to ask her out. After she told him she was married, he asked but are you "happily married?
You've heard the saying, "It's all about me." That is exactly right. Your relationship with yourself is the most important one in your life. Especially in communication. How you talk to yourself and what you say strongly shapes how you present yourself. Those inner dialogs become you in the outer world. People react to how they sense you feel about yourself, along with anything you say. "I would never think of standing up to my boss or correcting my husband. I'm a little shy around them and I'm afraid they'll blow up. But, I get so mad at their superior attitude, especially when I am right." That is someone's inner voice at work. It guarantees a communication breakdown and creates a roadblock to this person getting what she wants. Listen to yourself. Are you being your best friend or your worst enemy, the choice is yours. As long as you are feeling sorry for yourself you have a good excuse for staying stuck. You can find fault and blame someone else for making you angry. You get to avoid looking at your inner thoughts and making some changes in your attitudes.
Do you know that one of the major reasons why women reject men is how he talks or what he talks about? Often in a conversation there is a situation where men can't think of what to say or talk about and it just ends up with a situation of awkward silence. This is the worst possible situation a man can be in as not only does this mean you might come across as a boring person but she will find all possible ways and reasons to get rid of you as fast as possible. Read on to discover what to do when you can't think about what to talk about... Never reveal too much about yourself too early- This is a situation which most men create without even realizing that they are digging a deep hole for themselves. You see when you tell way too much about yourself very early to a female there is absolutely nothing left to talk about as you have already told her whatever was there to be said. You see therefore the key under this situation is not to tell everything about yourself too early and reveal one thing at a time.
"Why didn't he call?" Its the question that's long plagued womankind but the answer is simple. Either a) he's not interested, or b) his plane's crash-landed on a desert island. Unfortunately the first reason is much more likely. But don't panic, there is a third one - he may be playing hard to get. If your man hasn't called in three days and you haven't spotted his picture in the papers under the headline 'Man Kidnapped', he's probably just not interested. Why does he say he finds revoltingly tarty women attractive when he'd never date them? That's because given half a chance men would date them. If Jodie Marsh begged him for a date, chances are he'd consider it. While you may think these women are 'revoltingly tarty' your man probably quite likes them. Admitting that however would just be asking for more trouble, so it's safer to claim these women as non-girlfriend material. Is he really less emotional than me? Yes. It's not that men are made of stone, he just doesn't want to express himself the way women do.
There are many people you may be close to whom you love hearing from and whom you enjoy talking to on the phone. However, there comes a time when talking on the phone is simply inconvenient, regardless of who you may be talking to. When a telephone conversation becomes inconvenient, it can be difficult to excuse yourself off the phone without worrying you'll be hurting the other person's feelings. Should you ever need to end a phone call, here are a few polite ways you can do so: Tell the truth - If you need to end a phone call conversation for a legitimate reason, such as you have an appointment with your doctor, the person will understand. Tell them you will call them back at a better time when you can devote your attention to them. However, if you are simply tired or don't feel like talking, there is a good chance that if you tell the truth in this case, you will offend the other person. Therefore, here are a few white lies you can tell to successfully get off the phone while protecting your friend/family member's feelings: There's my other line - pretend your other line is ringing and tell the person you've been expecting a call and you'll call them back tomorrow or at a later time (depending on the time of day).
Want to gain strategic insight into your business? Tell your thoughts to someone who simply listens. You'll actually start thinking better. Huh? I don't see how? What do you mean? Wait, before we get to that let's get the obvious out of the way. The difference between hearing and listening. Hearing is taking in sound waves through your ears. You can tell someone hears you when they nod or say "Uh, huh." This also is the universal signal they're not listening. When people repeatedly say "uh huh" it means their mind is putting the power of a 5 watt bulb on what you say and pour the rest of their mental power into the equivalent of a 1 million candle power searchlight on what they want to say. Listening is the opposite. The searchlight is on what you, the speaker, is saying and the 5 watt bulb flickers dimly. Speaking to the listener There's a way that doesn't work and a way that does. What doesn't work is telling someone what you think they want to hear and understand. This is where you're sharing your thoughts but trying too hard to tailor your message to the person listening.
Equality has been bandied around for decades but no one truly believes it for very few actually practice equality in their lives, whether with their spouse, family or friends and it is not written anywhere that women may not open doors for men. Machines do not come with manuals that men alone automatically understand likewise washing machines, ovens and vacuum cleaners are not pre set to work only in the hands of women. Equality is not about similar abilities in all aspects of life that walk side by side, like the strongest man and the strongest woman no it is about equality of the minds and respect. Recognizing the individual strengths and capitalizing on those strengths for optimum success for no member in any partnership has to be fantastic at all things, indeed not but we find out what we are good at and then do it to the best of our abilities and then some. Going the extra mile compliments and induces growth and good favour. Obama and Rodham Clinton have a fantastic opportunity presented to them that has never before been presented by opportunity in the history of the world and that is a situation where two people of different backgrounds including ethnicity and gender have a chance to work together.
Your assertiveness or lack of it is closely related to your daily communication. Most of us take communication for granted; it's just one of those things we do every day without realizing that the process is quite complex. Understanding the communication process will allow you to be more aware, and identify areas in which you could be more assertive. Incorporating assertiveness into your communication means that you need to understand what assertiveness is and what it is not. Assertiveness and aggressiveness are different behaviours, largely separated by the level of respect for yourself and others. In its simplest form, assertiveness is the expression of your wants, your needs, and your opinions clearly and directly stated without violating the rights of others. Aggressiveness, on the other hand, is the expression of feelings, wants, and opinions with no respect for others. Aggressive behaviour focuses on the self at the expense of others. Many people have the wrong idea as to what assertiveness really implies.