Winning Is Giving - Do You Give Too Much To Your Children, Mate, Colleagues, or Other Relationships?
Do you give too much to other people, and get little back from them? If you do, read these 4 points to discover how to get back the money, time, effort and love it may be costing you.
Point 1 - Understand that giving too much to the people in your life does not help them. And it does not help you. When you give too much to others, it tends to makes them dependent on you and weaken them. But, it can weaken you also because giving too much is likely to be draining of your energy.
Furthermore, they can become spoiled and become increasingly demanding of you. Most surprising is that the people you give too much to may resent you.
The remaining 3 points can help you even out the giving process to get more back in return.
Point 2 - Instead of making others dependent on you which weakens them, ask them to do their part. For example, when your children want you to do their school work for them, ask them enough questions about their particular task until they understand it. This way they can get the answers for themselves.
When the co-workers you are training want you to do the job task for them, give them a bigger chunk of that task to do each time until they do it all by themselves.
Point 3 - Do not allow them to be so demanding of you. Be truthful. Your relationship is out of balance. Let them know that the giving is one sided, and that you would like them to give back more in return. Most important, communicate this in a firm, but caring way.
Know that they may not be happy about your asking them to give back more. For example, when you ask spoiled children to be more responsible, they are likely to complain. Hold your ground, but have patience for the time it will take to teach them to be more giving.
Point 4 - If they resent you even though you are giving too much to them, do not back down from asking them to give back more in return. Resentment is often used as a ploy to make it look like it's your fault. Begin to hold your position on having them give back more to you.
Most important, these patterns of over-giving may have been going on for a long time. They usually do not change immediately. Be compassionate and patient. Listen to the feelings of the people you are asking to give back more to you. They may feel threatened by your request to change what is going on in the relationship. Show understanding, and yet work toward holding your ground.
Do not use blame. Blame is destructive to relationships because it makes you give up being truthful, accountable, and responsible.
Apply these 4 points and you can discover how to get back the money, time, effort, and love you lose from giving too much. You will be making great strides in attaining winning relationships.
Bonus Tip - To make faster progress on getting more back in return, set up a special quiet time to discuss this matter with someone who you give too much. It can be after the kids go to sleep, or perhaps both of you can go out for a cup of coffee. And now I would like to offer you a free downloadable audio to help you get more of what you want both professionally and personally.
It is titled - How to Achieve Stellar Results Using Giving Zone Principles. You can get your instant access at http://www.livinginthegivingzone.com/gintelligence-bonus/gibonus.html
From Bruce Painter - Amazon Best-Selling Author of The Giving Zone, speaker, and master coach
Source: http://www.ezinearticles.com/
Added: 16 апреля 2008
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