Communication Challenges With Loved Ones

In life you will encounter people who have a great ability to communicate their emotions and ideas. Some can communicate well in public and others can communicate well in much smaller groups. However, a good number of people do not know how to communicate. I am not necessarily speaking of public speaking. There is a difference between communicating in public and privately. I am talking about being able to communicate your feelings to someone close to you. Can you relate?

In my case, I have had and still do struggle with communicating with my father. However, I can get up in front of a room of strangers and communicate on a topic that I feel passionately about. But the hardest person for me to communicate with is my father. Why is that? Well my father did not have much of a father-figure when he was a boy. That was when it was not popular in a 3rd world country to have a one-parent household. He grew up with nothing but criticism and challenges, and he was never taught to communicate well with those close to him.

Always a good father who loved his children dearly. But when challenging times came by, e.g. me being a rebellious teenager, my father did not have any solutions, because that part of his own life was an empty space. So our communication broke down to mere "good mornings" and "hi's". Anything beyond that would have been surface-level small talk. Eventually he and my mother would have gotten a divorce, which filled me with anger. The fear I felt as a little boy, who always knew my parents were not happy together because communication was bad, became anger when they went their separate ways. This ultimate event compounded the strained relationship between me and my father.

Oh by the way, my father knows how to communicate in public also. But we have a strained relationship. I honor him and I love him, but there is something about him that repels me. See what I am doing in this article is communicating. But you couldn't pay me enough to express it to my father. Does it make sense? It might. However, is it the truth? No, it's not!

In order to truly communicate with someone [close to you] with whom you have a strained relationship, there are a few things that will be necessary:

• In your heart forgive them for any [perceived] wrong done to you by them (without this 1st step, I am not sure you can proceed).

• Totally disregard that resistance you feel and push through it. That resistance is pride. However, it is a poison. It is what is perpetuating the death of the relationship. It is an overarching force in your life that is holding you back. It is holding me back. It is a walled prison. But I must break through it.

• Pushing through the resistance is when I say, "dad I love you."

That is where the mending starts. Beyond that point is the road to rebuilding the relationship. It does not take both people to decide to rebuild a relationship. Like all journeys in life, it only requires the first step. It does not require two first steps. So that first step can be mine.

01 Dec 2008 14:33:59

Hotels Adjust, Communicate After Attacks - GlobeSt. com

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Source: http://globest.com/news/1297_1297/asia/175488-1.html

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