Eating Disorders: ED Is Always Looking for the Loophole As You Re-Feed Your Anorexic Daughter
What does your daughter need from you in order to get well from anorexia? She needs you to learn the strategies ED will use to get you and her off track when you sit down to the table. One tactic ED uses is he is always looking for a loophole.
Wikipedia defines a loophole as "a weakness or exception that allows a system to be circumvented or otherwise avoided." One example of a loophole could be a breach in a security system. A thief spends time observing a house and learning a person's routine in order to find an area of weakness that he can exploit.
The eating disorder is similar in that he also is very observant. ED sees where the weaknesses are as you work toward restoring your child's weight.
Let's say for example you give her a chocolate shake because it has more calories. ED may know from past interactions that you will back down if he gets your daughter to refuse to drink all or it.
You feel relieved that she even drank some of it which is an improvement and then let it go. What do you think will happen the next time you put a shake in front of your daughter to drink? You guessed it; she won't drink the whole thing. She may even drink less to see if she can get away with it.
You can see how if you give an inch, ED will try and take a mile. And it isn't your daughter's fault. She is a captive audience to ED and he will always work to find that loophole. Your job is to know ED so well that you close all the loopholes so he has no way to break in.
This is how you take the pressure off her and show her you; not ED are in control. It is your responsibility to ensure your anorexic daughter gets what she needs to restore weight, never hers. If she could make these food decisions she would have already done it herself.
Close the loopholes so your child can get well. It is a challenge at first but it will get easier as the eating disorder realizes there are fewer weak areas to exploit.
Do you want to learn more about eating disorders?
If so, download my free e-book "Eating Disorder Basics for Parents" here http://www.why-my-daughter.com/edb.html
Lynn Moore educates, coaches, and consults parents on how to help their adolescent with eating disorder behavior. She will help you figure out what kind of help you need and what you can do to help your child.
This information is not a substitute for consultation with health care professionals. Each child's health issues should be evaluated by a qualified professional. Never read one article and try to implement what you read without more research and help; either from a coach or therapist.
Added: 15 марта 2011
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